You Decide...

Travis says I'm not ok...He is basing this opinion on this past week.
But I'm leaving it in your hands; you decide...
Am I ok???

Missed my father in laws B-day on Tuesday, flaked on friends to watch Idol because
I was feeling "emotional"
Wednesday: Worked, went to coffee with a friend!! Found my very first ever gray hair on my head...cried over it, felt old
Thursday: worked, cried in bathroom for 15 minutes (at work), went to lunch with my mom, sobbed on the way home from work, while explaining to Travis that I was fine...
Found $7 in my lab coat at work & cried about it...
Friday: Worked, got mad because I had to get gas, went home, then went to Travs Grandpas house to "help" pack & have pizza..Got mad because Travs brother Trent got a brand new car that his parents co-signed for...
Saturday: went to swap meet, went to Daves (my brother) last concert; got mad cuz we were early; got mad at everything
Sunday: Church, laid around in the heat
Monday: Found second gray hair..laughed about it (queitly dying inside)

I think this points to the obvious, I AM FINE!! QUITE NORMAL, ACTUALLY!
YOU DECIDE

Faithful!

God is so faithful!!
We have truly experienced Gods faithfulness during this last month since we moved. The Lord has provided money when there wasn't any, he has provided friends when we were lacking connection, he provided furniture when we couldn't afford to buy new, he provided a pay increase for Travis!, and he has provided us a home, not just a house but with His help we have been able to create a "home" for us to enjoy..

Since God is so faithful, he has given us this AMAZING home to share with others, we want to open up our home to help/bless/entertain others! So, call us or just come over:) (you better call before you just stop by, we are still newlyweds)

I am in awe of Gods provision!!! I would LOVE to hear the ways in which He has provided for you.....please share with me:)

Today I am thankful for Gods faithfulness, even when I am unfaithful to Him, He remains constant..

Thankfull!

Ok, so my friend Lisa is doing this everyday, so it inspired me to do the same!
I'm be attempting to write a "thankfull blog" everyday! There are so many positive things in my life that I'm completly thankfull for EVERY day;, however I tend to focus on the hardships...
So in effort to keep my eyes and my heart on "better" things, I too will do a "thankfull" blog most days!!!!

Thankfull blog #1
I am so thankfull for my husband. For his thoughtfullness, his compassion, his heart for others and the way he listens to me. I am so thankfull for his love that demanstartes Gods love for me so clearly, I am thankfull for the fact that even though I can be "difficult", he never makes me feel "difficult", he just patiently loves me thru whatever I'm going thru.
My husband is one of a kind, and I thank God every day for bringing him into my life

I love you sweetie!! You are my sunshine:)

Better Days!!

Whew!! Having a better day today:) Didn't mean to worry anyone, just had a rough couple of days last week...BUT I realize my feeling of "failure" was more of a feeling of "frustration"..
Frustration with myself and others...but mainly just frustration with circumstances
So NO WORRIES!! I am feeling much better, and much more encouraged!

Thank you to those of you that prayed for me...
Please continue to pray for all the changes that are taking place in and around our lives at this time...
More to come

TidBit:
Reading; The story of my life, an Afghan girl on the other side of the sky
By Farah Ahmedi with Tamim Ansary
I recommend this book!! Its an incredible story of a young girls journey to America and her life long struggle as an Afghan.
" I have lost love ones, but NOT love itself"

Failures/Bad day..

Failures:
Do my failures define me, or am I defined by the lessons I learn from failing??
Unfortunately, for me, the first is true...I let my failures define me...
I have failed in a marriage, in friendships, in being a sister, failure in being consistent in my eating habits, in being a wife...
But the biggest failure that plagues me daily, is my failure to be "real"
To just be who I am, without trying so hard to please everyone, and try to get everyone to "like" me..
This is why first time impressions are hard on me..I walk away replaying the conversations in my head, wishing I had said this, not that...etc..so I feel in my need to be "liked" I retreat to a funnier, more loud me. Ultimately this ends up eating at me, and I end up getting frustrated at myself for trying to hard.
Failure; once again

I filter all interactions throughout the day thru my "failure filter", thru the way I view myself, which I can admit, I have low self esteem...probably because I view myself as a "failure".. Ahh, the circle continues...

So, as I continue to evaluate my heart and rely on the Lord to encourage me, I am here for now, imperfect and a work in progress.
I do invite you to walk along side of me as I continue to try to learn through my failures rather than walk WITH them daily...

To Fail, is to learn.