Failures:
Do my failures define me, or am I defined by the lessons I learn from failing??
Unfortunately, for me, the first is true...I let my failures define me...
I have failed in a marriage, in friendships, in being a sister, failure in being consistent in my eating habits, in being a wife...
But the biggest failure that plagues me daily, is my failure to be "real"
To just be who I am, without trying so hard to please everyone, and try to get everyone to "like" me..
This is why first time impressions are hard on me..I walk away replaying the conversations in my head, wishing I had said this, not that...etc..so I feel in my need to be "liked" I retreat to a funnier, more loud me. Ultimately this ends up eating at me, and I end up getting frustrated at myself for trying to hard.
Failure; once again
I filter all interactions throughout the day thru my "failure filter", thru the way I view myself, which I can admit, I have low self esteem...probably because I view myself as a "failure".. Ahh, the circle continues...
So, as I continue to evaluate my heart and rely on the Lord to encourage me, I am here for now, imperfect and a work in progress.
I do invite you to walk along side of me as I continue to try to learn through my failures rather than walk WITH them daily...
To Fail, is to learn.
Jeremiah 29:11 The Message I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Philippians 4:8-9
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
2 comments:
How sad, my poor Carey Joy. Go to your Father. Crawl on His lap. You are His Beloved, His creation. And He loves you as you are!!! He has called you chosen for His kingdom, unashamed to call you His own. Because you are His BELOVED. And every failure in your life and mine is gone and forgotten as far as the east is from the west, remember? He is thinking of you now, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future filled with hope. Seek Him with all your heart, Carey, and He will be found and He'll give you your joy back. Love you, MOM
So I have come to the realization that you are a pretty good writer.... I didn't know that. I guess you learn something new every day. I don't know anyone who doesn't have a day like yours where you feel completely helpless, like nothing you do is right, and you will never be able to get anything right. I know that I have had plenty and every time I look back on those thoughts I say to myself wow I was dumb. I feel humiliated because I always seem to leave out the biggest factor.... GOD!!!! can you imagine how dumb we must look in his eyes... and the whole time he is there looking at us saying "Come to me." This is so not meant to be a slam on you, I just thought I would let you know that you are definitely not alone. I am right here with you. One of my favorite Psalms is chapter 25. I read it a couple summers ago when I really started to get into a relationship with Christ. I was thinking to myself I am SO not worthy and I read this chapter and it was as if God gave me the exact prayer. If ya want to I encourage you to check it out. Well gotta go... imma go see a movie.
PS. sorry for the grammer and spelling mistakes!!!!
by the way see if you can guess who this is? lol
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