Christmas "Kick off"

This weekend kicked off our "Christmas season".
First we had our annual Decorating Party at my mom and dads house:)



Every year, we decorate to my favorite Christmas Album... Amy Grant!!!!!!,
Dad and Christian pick out the tree.
Alicia and I bake something yummy:)!!!


Trav and I plan the games and we top it all off
with a White Elephant gift exchange and a little game of Farkle!!

Then on Saturday it was off to my work Christmas Party!!


My boss always cooks these AMAZING dinners for us! This year it was short ribs, green beans with hazelnuts, homemade lemon meringue pie, and a chocolate torte!
Food was wonderful, as usual, and its always fun to hang out outside of the office:)


My co-workers have become my "extended family" after 12 years of working together, that's only natural!!



This was a very busy weekend! But an amazing one for sure! I was able to take my mind off of "things" and just relax and celebrate with those that I love so much!
Oh yeah...plus I colored my hair!!!

Patience has NEVER been my strong point

Patience is a "virtue", patience is a "blessing", patience is "character", patience IS SOOO HARD!!!!
As many of you know we are going through Infertility treatments. Needless to say this has been a tough, grueling time for us. It's been emotionally and financially draining.

The doctors didn't find any specific reason for my infertility, however have put me on Clomid. Clomid is a fertility drug used to strengthen the egg. The pill (clomid) is taken for 5 days on certain days of a women's cycle. It can increase your chances of having multiples (only 5%) but most get pregnant using Clomid within 6 months.
Clomid is only effective for 3 successful cycles. A successful cycle is weighed by the level of progesterone in your blood on day 21 of your cycle (or of course if you become pregnant). The progesterone should be higher than 15, no less than 10!! This indicates a successful round of Clomid. Clomid looses its effectiveness after 3cycles.
I am currently on my second cycle, however the first cycle was NOT successful, so this could be my first "successful" cycle. Thus enters the PATIENCE, or my lack thereof. Today was day 21 of my cycle so I gave blood and wait for the results.
My patience is thinning, due to the fact that I feel like I'm been doing all the "right" things, but still seeing NO results.

I'm sharing all of this with you, to ask you to please pray for T and I. We are very discouraged. We have been trying to conceive for 2 years, and have been waiting for the Lords perfect timing. I do know He does have a perfect time, and His timing is NEVER my timing...
Each month is such a roller coaster of emotions. Clomid has its own side effects, not to mention that as a rule, I am an emotional person...top my natural emotional self with a ton of extra hormones...all I can say is POOR TRAVIS...
Thank you for your prayers for our family!!

Felt like Home:)

We had an AMAZING Thanksgiving! This year we were spending the day with Travs family in Orange County.
The day started off slow, really relaxing...we weren't expected at their house
until 2. We watched a movie, had breakfast & hung out in our pajamas! It was perfect, until we started out to the O.C.
TRAFFIC...ugh. There was so much traffic that it took us 35 minutes to go 5 miles.

When we did arrive, the day just got better. Trav and I have been married almost 4 years, but I can honestly say that this was the first time I truly felt like part of the "Covey" family. It was such a great feeling to be accepted (even though we were late) and just loved on. My mother-n-law, Karen, was so open and I really felt like she was enjoying my company. I even helped with the dishes!! (now that's family)
So, I was so very thankful this year that the Coveys and I have grown closer and our relationship keeps developing!
God is so faithful!! I know I keep saying that but its so true:)

The day after Thanksgiving we invited T's parents over for a decorating party at our house! In my pajamas, I decorated the tree with Karen and T and his dad hung the lights and did all the "manly" stuff. Again, I am so blessed to have been given such cool in-laws! Karen and I bonded over Amy Grant:) and told stories of Christmas's past. I do think I may have cried too:) We ended the night with a friendly game of WII bowling!!

We ended our Holiday weekend by throwing a Family Game night at our house! Mom, dad, Alica, Christian and us:) The WII was the center of the "gaming" but we did play 4 games of FARKLE! My mom won all but one:(

Family, Fun, and lots of thanks!!! That about sums up my Thanksgiving!
I could truly go on and on about all the things we are thankful for!! This past year has been an amazing one...We found a Church Home, T got promoted, We finally started fertility treatment, I have made some new girlfriends, we joined a marriage group, we realized that God can still use us:), and there is just too much to name here, but again...GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!

Not your typical Womens Retreat!

I had an amazing time at the retreat, but not for the obvious reasons. The teaching focus of the weekend was "The bride of Christ"...
The speaker was just not my style. I had a hard time focusing on what she was saying and felt myself being easily distracted. That's NOT to say that I didn't learn anything, but not in the typical way.

What I walked away with was an AMAZING look into my heart & the motives of my actions or lack of actions regarding our finances. I hate conflict, so if there was any "issues" with our finances...I would just ignore it until we got paid again. I know some of you think I'm CRAZY, (I am) but I was just so uncomfortable talking about anything regarding our money.
At the retreat I attended a Budget & Finance workshop (at the nudging of the Lord) I actually felt like this was tailored just for me. My heart was so burdened that weekend with the fiances, and I just felt like "this is why I am here".
As I sat in the workshop soaking up all the information, my heart became more heavy by the minute. I knew the way I had been "avoiding" and making decisions without consulting T was WRONG...I heard it LOUD & CLEAR!

AS soon as the workshop was over, a nap was in order! After the nap, I spent some time with the Lord confessing, thanking Him, and praising Him! He has been so faithful even thru my avoidance He has always provided for us!!
But...my heart knew that there was more to be done...I had to confess to T, and ask him for forgiveness as well. T was way excited about the pending new financial plan, he forgave me right away and jumped on board!!!

I went into this weekend expecting to meet with God, but never imagined it would be in my checkbook! He never ceases to AMAZE me and SURPRISE me!

Below are some of the "budget tips":
Spend all your money on paper BEFORE you cash your check.
Create a zero based budget: List out all your monthly expenses & zero out all money
Then:
Step 1- Set up an emergency fund (at least $1000.00)
Step 2- Put all extra money towards paying off debt (including cars, credit cards)
Step 3- Save 3-6 months of expenses in bank

I was intimidated at first! But the whole point of step 1 is so if anything comes up unexpectedly you don't have to stop paying down your debt, you just take it from your emergency fund and you continue paying down your debt as planned.
As you are paying down your debt you start with the smallest debt to the biggest debt. Pay off the smallest one first, then apply that money to the next debt in line. Soon you will be making large payments in your biggest debt, therefore, you are well on your way to being DEBT-FREE!!!!

P.S. We are still on Step 1....this is a process people!!!!!!

Living the dream!

No, we are NOT pregnant...this is Halloween!!!! I was literally "living my dream" and T was a construction worker! We went to the Harvest Festival at our church. We had such an amazing weekend!(not just because I got to "pretend" I was pregnant)

God is so good and so faithful!! He knows EXACTLY what and who we need in our lives. When I look back on this past year, I can see the Lord guiding T and I in our every step. He lead us to our church family where we have just been loved on and blessed in so many ways! The friendships we have made, and continue to make, remind us of Gods love. Our marriage group and the Youth leadership team have been placed specifically in our lives for such a time as this!




An awesome couple has been put in our lives that have struggled with infertility and have gone thru EXACTLY what we are currently going thru. God is so good!!

Dwayne and Deneva lead the marriage group, and their friendship has been so comforting and so encouraging to us. God is so good!!



Nate and Elise have been a source of refreshment. Nate and T have a lot in common and Elise is so easy to talk to(plus she cut my hair and I love it!!) God is so good!!



Ecclesiastes 4:10 If one falls down, a friend can help him up.

We are so thankful that we are surrounded by those that love the Lord, and love us!!
This past year has been so "full" for us! Full of friends, love and challenges, but God is so good and faithful!

My professional Worrier!!

After a long hiatus...I'M BACK!!
I just wanted to share with you a little of what has been on my heart as of late.

As T and I are going thru infertility testing/treatment I have found that my anxiety level has been extremely high. All the "what ifs" have been taking over my thought life, and I have found it hard to trust in the Lord and His perfect plan for me.

Gods timing is perfect. A few Sundays ago the Pastor talked on "The Antidote to Anxiety". I felt the Lord speaking to me very clearly...here is what He said:

Worry or anxiety is an attempt to control the uncontrollable: and as some of you know I like to be in control! This really hit home in my heart. I felt like I truly needed to just lay all my burdens down, and leave them. Leave them at the foot of the cross, let Jesus be my professional worrier:)

God is my Source:
When I feel like I don't know: He is my source of Wisdom (Ps. 36:9)
When I have no energy: He is my source of Strength (Isa. 48:5)
When I am depressed: He is my source of Happiness (Ps. 43:4)
When I feel hopeless: He is my source of Hope (Rom. 15:13)
When I feel stressed: He is my source of Peace (Rom. 15:33)
When I feel irritated: He is my source of Patience (Hosea 15:5)
When I feel overwhelmed: He is my source of Salvation (Heb. 5:9)
When I want to give up: He is my source of Encouragement (Rom. 15:5)

I just LOVE the fact that whenever I "feel" a certain way, I can look back on this list and be encouraged that He is my source. My Strength, Happiness, Hope, Peace, Patience,Salvation and encouragement ALL comes from HIM!!!!!

God is my professional worrier...is He yours??

Jr. High Kidnapping!!

At the crack of dawn on Saturday morning,(6...but hey, its a Saturday) Jason (the Youth pastor)..had this cool idea to "kidnap" some unsuspecting junior highers that were soundly asleep in their beds...(insert creepy laughing sound)So, Of course we were totally in!!!

First we pick up Natalie!

Then Renee & Rebekah


Followed by Vincent...

Then Janelle

and Justin...

and Sara

On to get Isaac...no picture...
Then, on to Dennys for breakfast!!!



The BEST part, for me, was seeing where all the kids live and getting a peek into their world. I have to admit it was pretty cool seeing them all "messed up and tired" looking to, but in all fairness I specifically didn't wear makeup...just to fit in with them! (I won't mention the fact that I didn't wash off my makeup from the night before, so in truth I had a little on my eyes)

So, here is my breakdown of the morning:
Janelle: not a morning person, does not like surprises...
Renee: orders her food by pointing at it on the menu:)
Rebekah: Doesn't like scary movies
Natalie: her house smells like Thanksgiving and Christmas...sooo yummy
Sara: is very cultured in her food palate
Justin: is into computers
Isaac: likes to always look his best
Vincent: likes to listen to Kutless and Reliant K
Junior Highers: Love em, love their energy, love their eagerness to let you know them!
Myself: At least 3 cups of coffee before I "lighten" up in the am...
Trav: The most consistent man you will EVER meet
Jason: likes Tai food, has a HUGE heart for the youth
Krista: isn't a morning person either, gives her all at everything she does:)
Jessica: luvs her brother and has such a sweet relationship with him...reminds me of my brother and I


What an amazing way to start our day!!!

About my Father

Luke 2:48-50
Mary, understandably hurt that Jesus had chosen to hang back in Jerusalem and leave them to worry about His safety, asked Him (Jesus) a question vs. 48 "Son, why have you treated us like this" His response, "Didn't you know I had to be in my Fathers house?"
The words "had to" some from the Greek word dei, meaning something that is "inevitable in the nature of things"...Father and Son had the same nature, Jesus was drawn to God, not as a believer, but as an overpowering magnet---two pieces of the same whole.

Have you ever just watched a father and son (or daughter) together? The way they walk, talk, or their mannerisms? They have so many of the same qualities. Even the slightest way they hold their head when they speak, or the way they look when they are concentrating...The same nature, the same heart, the same passions. This happens naturally when you spend so much time with someone.

I desire to have the same nature, same heart, same passion as my God.
Am i drawn to God, am I pulled in His direction with magnetism, do I yearn/desire to "be about my Father"? Will I leave all others and seek Him out, just to sit at His feet and listen?
Answer: Yes and No...

My hearts desire is to be about God. Not about my own agenda, not about ministry, not about ME....BUT
My flesh desires to always be first, be the cutest, have the best...and always be win. (I'm very competitive)

As a Christian (by my definition) I am a walking "conflict". Always wanting to do one thing and knowing you should do another.
There is a daily decision for me to parallel my life to the Lords,to love as He loved, to give as He gave, to sacrifice as He sacrificed, to forgive as He forgave , to embrace as He embraced

Today, I am just burdened with the realization that my flesh is sometimes stronger than my heart, and it saddens me that I fail. Newsflash: I AM NOT PERFECT!! Nor do I want to be, with perfection there is no learning and the day I stop learning about the Lord is the day I become ALL about ME...

So I will continue my journey...Being about my Father...
Love as He
Give as He
Sacrifice as HE
Forgive as He
Embrace as He
My hearts desire is to be about God, not my own agenda, not about ME.

Sweet treats and Smiles!

We are currently preparing to go meet with a new Doctor, one that will hopefully assist us in starting our family. We are a little apprehensive about the appointment...unsure if I will get all my questions answered, concerned about the outcomes of all the test..just plain worried.

Last night T and I were educating ourselves (by reading Fertility for dummies..courtesy my mom) and we were so encouraged! We were encouraged by a nice easy list of "must ask" questions and some simple tips for enhancing our appointment experience. I wanted to share a few of the tips, they can apply to any Doctors appointment:

1. Make the receptionist/front desk person your friend. Call them by their name
and always smile! Unfortunately the front desk staff has a big impact on your personal experience, they are your avenue to the Doctor...So treat them as so!!
2. Bring little "sweet treats"!! No office will turn away a little snack!
3. Always say "thank you" when you are taken back to the exam room, and when you are leaving the office...Leave a good impression EVERY time:)

We feel a little bit more prepared, with our list of questions in tack...our insurance referrals updated, and of course our smiles ready to go!!
Our appointment is the Monday the 20th, so please keep us in your prayers!!
We will keep you posted!

Over the 4th of July, we went to Chandler, Arizona to visit T's grandpa!! We meet up with T's parents and brother and just hung out together! It was soo hot, way to hot for me...over 100 EVERY day, but had a really great time together.

One day we went to a "show" at the Casino, and then we went to Jakes, a huge buffet and arcade! We all played like kids, and took turns on the Dance Revolution! Turns out T's dad has the best rhythm of all of us!

We spent a lot of time in the pool, played a lot of cards, and watched a real lightening show one night!

Thank you so much to grandpa & Carolyn for letting us crash your place:)

10 Things You should know about ...ME!

1. I LOVE my eye color!!
2. I can only fall asleep at night if I am wearing earplugs
3. I married my best friend!
4. I LOVE ketchup, but HATE tomatoes
5. I am afraid of heights
6. My 3rd toe on my left foot is longer than all the rest of my toes
7. I've never been stung by a bee
8. I count my deodorant strokes every morning, and put an even amount on each side
9. I have flown in an airplane one time...to Phoenix
10. My middle name is JOY!!!

Grad Party & Bonfires!!!

On Friday night we hosted Alicia and Sergio's graduation party!! The star of the night was definitely "Rockband"...I've never seen T rock it out on the guitar, or Alicia on the drums and Rachel on the Mic!!



We had amazing food!! Thank you to Balt for cooking for 40 people, it was worth the wait!



Then on Saturday it was over to Doheny Beach for Trent's B-Day celebration!! It was a beautiful day, perfect for volleyball!! Our team won 3 out of 3!! Woo Hoo go team Covey!



Happy Birthday Trent, we are so proud of you! You are so talented and what is so amazing is that you use your talent to serve the Lord! You have so many opportunities available to you, yet you have the wisdom and the patience to wait on the Lord and seek what He wants you to do. We are so excited for what the future holds for you and encourage you to always seek Him first!!
We love you! Your passion for life is contagious!!

Go Angels!!!

T got us 2 tickets to the Angel game on Monday night in the dugout suite!!
It was my first time going (to the suite) but T had been before and just couldn't pass up the opportunity!!!

I felt like such a celebrity walking into the suite...you literally walk into a huge "lounge" area...where the nice woman puts a invisible stamp on you, seen only by the "secret black light" :) It's so James Bondish...(maybe not)



So while T watched the game anticipating the Angels' every move, Mindy and I had fun people watching, eating and keeping our eyes out for random flying balls:) I really love the atmosphere, I love to see the families together, the dads explaining to their sons the score, or why the players wear that funny covering on their legs when they are batting, or why the players put certain weights on their warm-up bats..(which I actually found out...are their actual bats)and of course I had to have a hot dog and I usually get the huge ice cream cookie...but apparently that's a poor man snack because they didn't offer that in our first class seats:)



So a HUGE thank you to West Coast Firestop, and of course to my girl Mindy for giving me an unforgettable night, and tons of laughs!! Mindy, we totally have to hang out again, you make me laugh so much!! Thanks for making the night "fly" by!



All that was missing, was the Angels actually winning!! There is always next time!
Go Angels!! Woo Hoo

Congrats to Alicia!!!!

My niece, Alicia, graduated from Kennedy High School this week!! We are so proud of her and who she is becoming...
She is a joy to be around and has the heart of a servant! She is honest to the point that it's funny...she once gave me the very purse she was wearing because mine "looked like it was gonna break and I won't be seen with you wearing that one" hahaha, she is such a giver!!



She is going to college and is will be pursuing a career in nursing...she will be perfect for that: she doesn't mind all that blood, and she has a caring heart!

We love you Alicia!! We are so proud of you!
P.S. thanks for dessert last night

Day 15, Revealing Your Heart

If I truly had 30 days left (to live) I would become an excellent communicator! I would feel such a strong need/desire to express my love, forgiveness and gratitude to the key people in my life. The book suggests that before you can communicate with your mouth, your heart must lead the way, before you open your mouth to speak, you must first open your heart.

Jesus is the best example of speaking with ones heart, in that He communicated with us by leaving His home in heaven, coming to this earth, and putting on human flesh so He could reveal His heart to us. He opened up His heart and made Himself totally vulnerable. He risked rejection and was, in fact, misunderstood by many.
He did this for one reason- so we could see what God is like.

Until I open up my heart to those I love, I will never experience a communication breakthrough. Before the words flow, my heart must be exposed. We have to risk vulnerability to the point of possible rejection.

One way I can do this is to share my time. My time can sometimes be my most precious commodity. My time is valuable, and I don't like to waste it. It costs time to communicate effectively. Am I willing to pay that price??

The books lays out some "cost" to opening up your heart.
1. Share our time
2. Share our troubles, admit my needs
3. Share your true thoughts (in love)

So, many of you know the huge risk doing any of this involves for me. My biggest fear is rejection...But as I stated before I need to take risks to get any reward, no risk=no reward...Big risk=Big Reward... I'm preparing my heart to sit down and share with someone specific. It's a conversation that has been accumulating in my head for years now, and its a little unfair to the person, that they have no idea of my true feelings or my love for them...also the walls I have built around my heart have protected me but at the same time hidden me from all, whether good or bad...
I am ready to start tearing down that wall, and opening up my heart. I do know that not all risks end with a big reward, but I'm praying that this risk will be so worth it in the long run..

Is there a relational risk any of you need to take??? I would love to pray for you, please let me know, and please pray for me too!

Living Full Throttle!!

I'm on day 8 of my 30 day challenge. Today I am contemplating the "motorcross track" of life, the bumps, turns, curves and the crashes. We will crash/fail in life, its just a matter of when. But there is hope!!!!

The greatest power we need in our lives is the power to begin again(after a "crash") God is the God of second chances, and He wants to give us the power to begin again. It's not just the power for a fresh start; it's also the power to get back on the track and go faster than ever before!

The chapter focuses on 3 lessons that emerge from Peters crash site. Peter completely wiped out, he denied even knowing Jesus..not one time, but three times...I can't even imagine the way he felt. Yet God gave him the power to begin again....
Yay for second chances!!

I just want to share with you three things are so true & relevant to my life right now:
1. Because of Gods love for me, Failure is NEVER final or FATAL
2. Because of Gods grace, I can release my guilt and move forward
3. Because of who God is, I can surrender to God's strength

All I can end with is PRAISE GOD FOR SECOND CHANCES!!!

One Month To Live

In our small group at church we are reading through the book "One Month To Live" by Kerry & Chris Shook. The concept is clear: you have one month to live...how do you choose to live the next 30 days; living a no-regrets life.

For me, the book has been a great reminder/kick in the butt of what it means to live with purpose and to live intentionally. It's about taking risk, living out loud and living within your God given purpose!
I've taken a very honest look at my heart and how I've been living...I've been living a safe, risk free, pretty "low key" existence.

The last chapter I read was called "Dreamsicle, thawing out your frozen dreams"
This was a tough chapter for me, because I am not much of a dreamer. I am known as a realists, or a dream smasher...
Somewhere along the line, I stopped dreaming because I felt it was useless. My solution: if you don't dream then you can't be let down..no expectations, no disappointment. What a sad way to look at things, but honestly this is how I was "embracing" life.
No risk= no pain.

The challenge at the end of the chapter is to create a "dream box". So I'm going to try to put one together, also the next question if "what would you attempt for God if you knew you couldn't fail?" Well, that not a fair question at all...

This post is riddled with the disappointment that yet another month has gone by and again we are not pregnant. This is, by far, my biggest dream. Each month I experience a new level of depression, so for me to write down all my "dreams" is to open a wound that has never healed.

This next month, as I learn to live more intentionally, I would like to invite you to follow my journey. Follow me as I experience disappointment with new understanding and look at my past as just MY PAST...
I have a feeling the next month is going to be HARD BUT AMAZING for me. My heart is open and ready to allow the Lord to heal and sculpt me!!

Todays reading is "Kick start, living life full throttle" Charlies Angels, you've got nothing on me:)

Wet weather and smeeses!!

We went camping at O'Neill park over the weekend!! The weather was a little damp and cold...but we made the best of it!!! You would all be so proud of me for sticking it out. (even in the rain) Although we did have our 18 inch queen mattress, and our 2 canopies to cover us...but still I felt we were totally "roughing it", we still had to walk a little to use the bathroom.




So, SMEESES are the new "smore"...it's like a little bit of heaven stuck between two pieces of graham cracker...mmmmmm(you just replace the chocolate, with a Reeses) After about 4 of those, we called it a night...then the next day everyone (but me) took a 3 mile hike..I didn't go because the damp air and cold was horrible for my asthma., I didn't want to chance having an attack.




What I learned:
1. I don't like camping in the rain, too much wetness...not fun
2. Don't leave your shoes out overnight (in the rain)
3. My husband doesn't mind dancing in front of other people!! Laughing is good for soul!!

Out of hiding!!!

Wow, have we been busy....camping, eating, joining churches, hanging out, eating, getting ready for Alicia to graduate, eating...(you get the idea)
No more are our nights filled with just each other and our couch, gone are the days of solitude with our TV! Hello to a more FULL life & a more ENGAGED life!!

We have joined a small group, which we LOVE! My husband was soooooooo excited to be jumping in with both feet at our new church. We have always been so "relationally cautious". So careful before we open up and get to know people...WHY????
What were we waiting for?? NO IDEA!!!!

Tonight, at church, we are checking out the Youth group. We have always had a passion for junior high, but I felt that somehow God was done using me. So NOT true, and such a lie...
I truly have so much more to share, but will do at another time:)

Cheers to living a more ENGAGED life, and to new experiences...

It's the "small" things...

Last Sunday, at church, the Pastor focused on the "small" things in life. The small things that REALLY get to us, the small things that can RUIN our day. He also said it was the "small" things that really revealed our true character...ugh oh...

I truly felt like this one was for me, I get so focused on the little things, and totally let them get me down, but I never realized that all the little things that I let affect me are also having an affect on my Testimony.
Daily I need to protect my testimony. To be more aware of how I am presenting myself as a Christ follower...because people are always watching...

So, I thought I would pass along some tips on how to protect your testimony:

#1. Nothing is too small for prayer..(for me this was traffic, dogs & food)
Pray for the "small" things, pray about ALL things
#2. Expect disappointment (but be ready for it) prepare your heart to be flexible
#3. Daily consider Gods care (for you) make daily time for Him in order to be sustained though out the day
#4. Don't let your anger get the best of you
#5. Remember the BIG things God has done (praise Him for His faithfulness to you)

So this week I am committing to Protecting my Testimony; specifically in the small things...
I'll keep you posted on my progress!
Small things really reveal true character, may my true character be like HIS character.

My husband is "better" than yours:)

I have been so blessed with such an amazing husband!!!
T is so loving, caring and so quick to forgive me..he truly shows me what Gods love is like with skin on. He accepts me just as I am, and treats me with such tenderness...

We have been carpooling to work on Tues and Thurs...I have the farthest to go (30 miles) and his work is right on the way...so we used to drop him off first then I would go ahead to work and pick him up at the end of our day...then home

WELL, his work has changed slightly and he needs a car at his disposal every day.
So, being the kind man he is and knowing how much I HATE to drive in traffic,
he offered to drive me to work, then he will backtrack to his work, and then he can pick ME up after...then home:)
Even this small sacrifice on his part is a testimony of his heart, its a little more driving for him, and we both lose out on some sleep...but he was willing to do that to make me a little less stressed out!
And we all love a little less stressed out Carey:)

T, you are such a gift from the Lord to me. I love your sweet heart for Jesus and others, you make me want to be a better! Thank you for being my support system and my friend..for the endless nights of talks, tears and all the laughter!

Thank you for all the small things that make a HUGE difference in my life:)

To Be Known

To Be Known...
One of my greatest desires, is to know people and to be truly known by them.
One of my greatest struggles is to get to know people and to let people know me

My most intimate desire, is my biggest fear.
Fear of being rejected, fear of being judged...lots of fears, too many fears...

T and I have moved around a little in the 3 years we have been married,
this has just grown my desire and handicapped it at the same time.
We have been in Long Beach for 2 years now (having moved from Orange County), and have finally found our church home, but have yet to find our “hearts” home with friends...

My heart crys out to be connected, to be encouraged, to be challenged, to be an encourager and to be a challenger. I fear I push some people away due to my fears, but I'm learning to push through the insecurities and allow people in.. I HAVE to!

In my past friendships, I am usually the one that is calling or trying to keep in touch with friends.
But more recently I have discovered that my heart has been hurt. It hurts me that I am usually the one reaching out, it hurts me that my sister and I aren't close, it hurts me that I am usually the one that people “share” with, but rarely asked to share about myself, it hurts me that I feel insignificant.
It hurts me that I don't have the courage to be myself and am always trying to please people...
Ugh, I've been just plain hurt, by people and by myself by not allowing myself to show vulnerability.

I guess I'm sharing this because I feel seriously sorry for myself...I'm down.
This is me venting my heart.....
Through all this I have found that I don't trust people...I have been hurt so much by gossip (in the past) the worst kind, gossip in the church...gossip of things shared in confidence, then turned around and shared as “prayer requests” to others. I don't trust the smiles, until I see them in action.

One of my greatest desires, is to know people and to be truly known by them.
One of my greatest struggles is to get to know people and to let people know me
This is me venting my heart...

2 miles of pictures

Over the weekend, we took a 2 mile walk around Long Beach with our camera in tote! Below are some of our favorite pics!

Ducks Game!

I surprised T with Ducks hockey tickets on Friday!! (special thanks to my boss)
Hockey is T's favorite sport to watch...I have to admit, being there is much more exciting than watching on T.V. The pace of the game somehow seems slower in person, but the sounds are AMAZING!! My favorite being the sound of the players running into the side of the walls!!!



Three Things I learned about Hockey:
1. They are allowed to fight, at least until one of the players falls to the ice. I couldn't believe this, the refs stood there and watched the fight for at least 3 minutes...
2. T is one of those "loud" fans that shout coaching tips at the team! Yay..
3. Hockey players are really "rough" looking...baseball players are much cuter:)


...and they lost by one...

My Call to Prayer...

I am currently reading "A Woman's Call to Prayer", by Elizabeth George. I have struggled with really, truly immersing myself in a healthy prayer life. I pray often, but just not with purpose. I have felt under attack so far this year, and the only way I know how to combat the enemy is to get on my knees.

So last night as I was reading, she challenges me to stop reading and get on my knees and pray. Well, I'm clearly not good at following directions because I read on and came across something that captures what prayer is to me.

Prayer is so simple;
It is like quietly opening a door
and slip into the very presence of God,
There is the stillness to listen to His voice;
Perhaps to petition, or only to listen:
It matters not.
Just to be there in His presence Is Prayer.

As I read this I so wanted to find that quiet place and "open the door, and just slip into His presence". This filled my heart with peace and the desire to "just be" with the Lord, and soak up His presence.

I just wanted to share with you where my heart is today, and I pray that you find time as well to slip into the very presence of God...He is waiting for you!!

Mother, Daughter Getaway!

Just us girls went to San Diego for the weekend! Mom had this wonderful idea to do a "girls only" weekend with her friend Margie and Margie's daughter Kristi. We have all known each other for about 30 years, so we are like family!

We stayed right by "Old Town". After we checked in, we were all starving so we walked to an amazing Mexican restaurant that makes their own tortillas!! Yummy! Then back to the room for a game night!! Margie brought this game Faces, which was fun and we all laughed so much our tummy's hurt.
Saturday was filled with shopping, massages, reading, coffee and finished with a mud mask from the Dead Sea (thank you Rebecca)!!

I did learn a little more about my family: My sister is a night owl, frequents the Internet at 2:00 am...My mom looks funny covered in mud, and only wears "white"..and I showed off my sleep talking to my family:)
Thank you so much mom for giving us these precious memories and allowing us to just be "us".