Storm!!!

As I was driving to work today, I was reminiscing about this past year.
All the good, the bad and the ugly! This past year has been an AMAZING year as well as an EXTREMELY CHALLENGING year!

AMAZING in ways that I can't really put into words.(but I will try) AMAZING watching my dad care for my mom as she went through surgery, chemo, the loss of her hair and all the emotional ups and downs. The way my dad was there for her through EVERY step and EVERY emotion. He not only drove her to all her appointments, but sat with her and held her hand when she needed, cried with her, laughed with her, protected her, held her, served her, and above all... gently turned her face to the Lord when she was overwhelmed. My dads strength throughout this journey has been inspiring!! I know my dads strength only comes from the Lord!!
AMAZING friends that have become family!! Sweet friends that have walked the infertility road before me and can offer not only support, but a shoulder to cry on and hands to pray with. Crazy friends that we can laugh with, friends with wisdom to walk beside us.

CHALLENGING in so many different ways. I (Carey) have had more dental work done this year than my whole life..(slight exaggeration). BUT, we don't have dental insurance, so that hurts more than just my mouth!
CHALLENGING financially. Due to lots of car trouble, lots of medical expenses! Loss of friendships, that I thought would last forever. Loss of my precious doggie Fugazi, and loss of hope. Hope that someday I would be a mom. I'm still working through this one because this one is heartbreaking.
CHALLENGING in the fact that through all the infertility testing we have gone through, they still cannot find a "reason" that we can't conceive.

No matter what this past year has thrown at us, one thing has remained calm and consistent...The Lord is the glue that holds my family together!!! I would call this last year a "STORM", and as I listened to the words of this song by Casting Crowns, I am reminded that:

I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise YOU in this storm!!

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I will praise You in this storm
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

So I will praise Him and thank Him!!!! Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me and praise You, for You are ALWAYS in control!!

Favorite Recipes!!

My favorite time of year!! The time when the "special" recipes come out, you know the ones that have been passed down or shared just between your family!!
Well, this following recipes are passed down from my boss. He is an AMAZING cook!!! (and boss too)
I know ANY recipe that he gives me is excellent:)
Below are 2 of my favorite dessert recipes from him! They will impress your friends and family! PLUS they taste delicious too!

CHOCOLATE PECAN PIE
Ingredients:
1 3/4 Cups Pecans
3/4 Cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 unbaked 9 inch pie shell (Mrs. Smiths)
4 Eggs, beaten
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar (packed)
1/2 cup corn syrup (Karro)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract(not imitation)
Pinch of salt
Preheat oven to 375 Spread the pecan pieces and the chocolate chips evenly on the bottom of the pie shell

In a mixing bowl, whisk the remaining ingredients together. Pour the filling over the pecans. Bake until the filling sets 50-60 minutes
Remove from oven and cool for 30 minutes before slicing!!!
Enjoy

CHOCOLATE PECAN OATMEAL COOKIES
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups pecans
1/2 pd unsalted butter at room temp
1 cup dark brown sugar, lightly packed
1 cup granulated sugar
2 extra large eggs at room temp
2 tsp pure vanilla extract (no imitations)
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp salt
3 cups old fashioned oatmeal
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 350Place pecans on a sheet pan and bake for 5 minutes until crisp. Set aside to cool

In a bowl, beat butter, brown sugar and sugar together on med..beat until light and fluffy. With mixer on low add eggs one at a time ad the vanilla

Sift the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt together in a medium bowl. With mixer on low, slowly add the fry ingredients to butter mixture. Add the oats, chocolate chips and pecans and mix with your hand until the flour is incorporated.

Using a small ice cream scoop drop 2 inch mounds of dough on baking sheet. Flatten the dough mounds slightly. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, until lightly browned.
Cool completely before eating!

Pumpkin Time!!

It's pumpkin carvin' time..yeeeeehawwwwwww!
I have been begging Trav to carve pumpkins for 3 years now, but we always run out of time to actually do it...Not this year!! Over the weekend Trav grew so tired of my whining that he took me and some sweet friends to do it right!
By right I mean, to the pumpkin patch we drove...followed by the obligatory pumpkin patch pics...then off to some grub...then finally to the cutting!!!!
Such a perfect day to relax, laugh and get my carvin' on!!!!

Perspective!!!

Due to my previous post...most of my friends and parents were worried about me:)
I am OK! Merely sharing my heart with you.
HOWEVER, having said that, God always shows up! No matter what the situation is, He will show up and show off!
NEVER before have Trav and I talked about the positive side to being MNK..(married, no kids)(yet).
I have always viewed it as such a negative that I haven't even considered there being anything positive about it...UNTIL NOW!!
I decided to make a list of all the positive so that I could reflect back on these words when needed.

Because we don't have children(yet):
We have more time!!! More time means we can serve in a ministry! We currently are serving in the Youth ministry at our church! And from that ministry have come friendships that keep me grounded in the Lord and focused on His will...not mine..

We can focus on our marriage! We joined a marriage group that has opened up so many more doors for us! Thru those relationships we have been able to do Monthly Family Game Nights!
As a direct result of a marriage group, my sweet friend Deneva and I were able to plan, organize and coordinate the Women's Retreat last year, and we are working on next year as we speak! Travis has meet amazing Godly men that have shown him anything from how to install an air conditioner to playing computer games:)
We unofficially became part of the Buffum family! They live 5 minutes from us and have been a HUGE blessing to our marriage and to our backs:)....their jacuzzi works wonders!

We joined the volleyball team!! Nate and Elise invited us! Elise cuts my hair and I always enjoy our times together! She is always honest and seems to always bring a new perspective to things...Nate is Travs go-to guy for prayer.

It's all about perspective!! I choose today to have Gods Perspective and realize how blessed we truly are and rest in the peace that comes with knowing the God is in control!!!
Thank you Lord for blessing the Covey's

Action = Results??....not today

Many of us expect that if we work out, we will feel better and lose inches
If we stop smoking we will be healthier
If we get an oil change on our car, it will run better
We naturally expect that our ACTION = RESULTS.
OR
that if we don't like something, we can easily change it!
If we don't like our clothes.....just change our outfit
If we don't like our hair....just dye it a different color
If we don't like our home....well, just move
You get the idea....

We develop a false sense that we can control or manipulate our circumstances with these "quick fixes". That WE are indeed in the drivers seat of our life. We believe that if we don't like something....just change it or ourselves!! We are a "control" driven society.

BUT, what happens when we realize that much is beyond our control and that we are NOT indeed in the drivers seat?

As many of you know Trav and I have been trying to start our family. This year has been a series of appointments, blood tests, medication, procedures and disappointments. Month after month we follow the "instructions" and month after month we see NO results.
I am NOT in control. I am NOT in the drivers seat.

Today I took another pregnancy test, today I suffered another heartbreak, today I wonder if I will ever be a mom, today I wonder if my husband is disappointed in me, today I sit here broken, today I long to hold a baby, today I fail to see the beauty of just being a wife, today I hope for the day that I may dedicate my child to the Lord, today I sit here confused, angry, bitter and NOT in control....today I sit sharing my heart with my friends.

Normally this is where I end with a pretty bow, and make it all nice nice....
Not today, just not today.......
Today, much is beyond my control
Today, Action does NOT = Results

Truth and Love

Krista...
One of my previous posts is about friendship....and how the Lord brings certain women into your life at opportune times.
Krista has been that friend for me as of late...She challenges me and pushes me to be my authentic self, to be real, to be the true me all of the time....not just when its easy and comfortable.

The really interesting thing is that she doesn't even know that she is pushing or challenging me. She speaks what is on her heart, she tells it how it is. She speaks the truth, but surrounds it with love. Lots of women (myself included) shy away from these friends because we are fearful of what will come out of their mouths...afraid of being hurt or a lot of times we fear hearing the truth about ourselves, so we put distance between us and them....Leaving us unchanged and unchallenged.

Ephesians 4:14;(The Message) God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love.

The Lord has been placing on my heart, the need...the calling, to be truthful in love..To be bold and speak the truth in Love, even when it hurts or makes me uncomfortable.
Here are some of the things that I am learning about truth and love!

Speaking the truth in love is NOT watering down the truth
Speaking the truth in love necessitates the use of both positive and negative
Speaking the truth in love must be plain to understand
Jesus is the ultimate example of speaking the truth in love!!

So I leave you tonight with this thought:
Are you being the "true you"...the you that speaks the truth in love, the you that the Lord designed with His own hands, the you that is unique, the you that is vulnerable, the you that doesn't water down the truth, the you that you are called to be...
Will you take the challenge with me tomorrow?
Will you make it a priority to speak the truth in love for a day?
Lets change and be challenged........ one day at a time!

Psalm 9:9-10

Psalm 9:9-10 (The Message)
God is a safe-house for the battered,
a sanctuary during bad times.
The moment you arrive, you relax;
You're never sorry you knocked

Let the Lord keep you safe today...Sit in His sanctuary and relax!

Seasoned vs. Reason...

I am very fortunate to have many different women in my life. Women from all different walks and stages of life!
What a fool I would be to NOT gain wisdom from some & help guide others. I believe the Lord has placed certain women in our lives for a "season" and some women in our lives for a "reason"!


My "seasoned" friends are the ones I can share with, the ones that stick with me through EVERY season of my life. They have walked the road before me, they have failed, tried again and grown and are now extending their hand to support me in my journey!
These are the women with whom a WE can share our brokenness, our hurt and our battles. These women are encouraging, great listeners, vulnerable, strong, and vital to my growth as a Christian woman.
These women are all ages!!! <em>These women point you to the one that heals, the great comforter and the ultimate friend

The "reason" friend is the friend that shares WITH me! They be-friend with a purpose!! A goal in mind....a specific situation brings these friends into your life. These women are intentional in their relationships, intentional in their speech.
These women share THEIR brokenness, their valleys and their successes with you. These women have something to share with you, something to help grow you, something that they know you need to hear!
These women are great listeners of the Lord, they listen closely to their father and share accordingly. These women are fearless!! These women challenge you but at the same time help motivate you! These women are vital to your growth as a Christian woman! These women point you to the one that heals, the great comforter and the ultimate friend!

I want to challenge you to think about what kind of friend you are....
Are you rising to the occasion when the Lords pulls at your heart? Are you being open and honest with your friendships?
What encouragement do you have to offer a friend, what trials have you been through that you can share that wisdom with a friend, how can you support your friend in her journey, how can you pray for your sister, and how can you point women to the One that heals, the Great Comforter, the Ultimate friend....

We are all called to be both a "seasoned" and a "reason" friend! Both types of friends are VITAL to our growth as Christian women!
What kind of friend will you be this week? This day? This year??
My prayer is that as you are reading this that the Lord has placed someone on your heart! I encourage you to reach out and be that friend!!

Things I DIDN'T care about UNTIL I turned 30!!

* The JOY of having a custom fit bra
* The right to preview/delete any or all pictures taken of me
* Hiding the pores on my face (Thank God for mineral makeup)
* The importance of 8 hours sleep
* The VERY LOUD ticking of my biological clock
* Wearing 2 inch heels all day
* Eating dinner before 7pm
* Going out in public without makeup
* The advantages of under eye cream
* Comfort being a factor when selecting an outfit
* Quality over Quantity, when it comes to friends
* Building my 401K
* Saying "I love you" EVERYDAY to those around me
* How close the hospital is to my home


I know some of you out there are going to point out that I passed 30, 6 years ago....Well YES i did (thank you) BUT I'm realizing how different my thinking is now than before that milestone!!

Sunday go to meeting clothes!!

Once a year my church has a "Back to Church Sunday"!
It's a time where the men wear suits and the ladies wear dresses and hats:)
It's a time where we just loosen up and dress up! Always a fun day. We even breakout all the "old" songs, you know the ones from the 80's, hahaha!

I LOVE my church and the family that I have there! We have been truly blessed with so many GREAT friends and relationships!
When we first came to Light and Life Downey, we were hurt, broken and in need of acceptance and love. What we found when we got there were people willing to mend us and help put us back together. People that would accept us regardless of our pasts, present or how we looked. What we found was Jesus with skin on!

I just have to take a moment to thank all of my family at LLCF Downey!!
I can see the Lords hand a year ago. He was leading us into relationships that would help support us both as we went into this hard year. Friends that would hold me while I cried over the death of my sweet dog, friends that would listen to me as I shared the news of my moms cancer tests, and friends that would laugh with me and friends that would ALWAYS turn my eyes back to Jesus!

Since we have been at LLCF Downey, we have been involved in Youth ministry, Women's ministry (which is a seperate blog all together) and Trav has done most of the Photography for the church! (that is why he isn't in any of the pics)
We felt so blessed that we just had to give back to the people and serve at the church!
As we grow new friendships and help heal, mend and love on other broken people.... We just wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU to all our church family!
Gods love grows out of each one of you, and extends to all around you. We are truly blessed to be a part of LLCF Downey!

A new "normal"

Wow! It has been WAY too long....
So much has happened this year, so much has changed...I just couldn't find the words to describe the pain that I was feeling or I'm not sure that I wanted to invite the world into MY journey these past 7 months.
BUT, I know that if I share my experiences, that somewhere out there, my life may help, reach, teach, heal, or help others that are going thru the same thing.

Changes:I fear change to some degree, I LOVE to change my hair, my furniture or even my style of dressing....One thing that I assumed would always stay the same was MY FAMILY.
My family adopted a new "normal" in May of this year. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. She has gone thru surgery, and is now is Chemo.....


I have seen my mom go thru so many different emotions and feelings. I have seen her be STRONG, I have seen her WEAK, I have seen her CRY, and I have seen her LAUGH!!!
My mom is an AMAZING woman!! Not only is she an INCREDIBLE woman, she is a woman of the LORD!!!!!
Thru all the ups and downs of her new "normal", the one thing that is consistent, is her faith in the Lord!!! She has NEVER wavered from that! She knows that she is in the Lords hands, she knows that HE is in control!! She knows that she is a testament of His love for her and His faithfulness:)

So, mom.....thank you so much for the example that you have been to me. Thank you for the early morning encouragement that you send me! Thank you for being honest with me, thank you for pointing me to Jesus when I felt hopeless, thank you for being the strong woman that you are, thank you for praying for me.........Most of all I thank you for letting the Lord heal your body and your spirit, thank you for letting me watch you grow deeper with the Lord as your body grows weaker, thank you for sharing yourself with me in new ways, and thank you for always letting me ask questions....
I am truly blessed to call you my mom!!!
I have seen a new strength in you mom...I know that it is not you, but it is the Lord!!!!

Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.