Many of us expect that if we work out, we will feel better and lose inches
If we stop smoking we will be healthier
If we get an oil change on our car, it will run better
We naturally expect that our ACTION = RESULTS.
OR
that if we don't like something, we can easily change it!
If we don't like our clothes.....just change our outfit
If we don't like our hair....just dye it a different color
If we don't like our home....well, just move
You get the idea....
We develop a false sense that we can control or manipulate our circumstances with these "quick fixes". That WE are indeed in the drivers seat of our life. We believe that if we don't like something....just change it or ourselves!! We are a "control" driven society.
BUT, what happens when we realize that much is beyond our control and that we are NOT indeed in the drivers seat?
As many of you know Trav and I have been trying to start our family. This year has been a series of appointments, blood tests, medication, procedures and disappointments. Month after month we follow the "instructions" and month after month we see NO results.
I am NOT in control. I am NOT in the drivers seat.
Today I took another pregnancy test, today I suffered another heartbreak, today I wonder if I will ever be a mom, today I wonder if my husband is disappointed in me, today I sit here broken, today I long to hold a baby, today I fail to see the beauty of just being a wife, today I hope for the day that I may dedicate my child to the Lord, today I sit here confused, angry, bitter and NOT in control....today I sit sharing my heart with my friends.
Normally this is where I end with a pretty bow, and make it all nice nice....
Not today, just not today.......
Today, much is beyond my control
Today, Action does NOT = Results
Jeremiah 29:11 The Message I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Philippians 4:8-9
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
2 comments:
Oh my Carey! You are in my prayers and darn it....you made it into my heart too. You know how I hate that :) My heart is for few and you are one of the few.
Heb. 12: 1-3 Keep looking to Him. May He continue to be the Author and Perfector of your faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, so that He may also sustain you so that you may not grow weary, fainting in your soul.
---sm
My Carey Joy, I love you and I long for those results for you, too. I want to hold your baby,too. And you're right. It's out of your hands, but we will still keep praying, cause God knows when Baby Covey will be born.
And he will have lots of people waiting to love him and spoil him.
God is good. We will trust his plans!! Mom
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