When God said "wait" to me, my heart hears HIDE..
Hide your disappointment
Hide your true feelings
Hide from those that just don't "get it"
Hide yourself from those that are pregnant
Hide yourself from babies
Hide yourself in the comfort of your house
Just HIDE
Hide: to put or keep out of sight, to cover up, to conceal..Most of us hide a portion of ourselves from others. The parts that we aren't proud of, the things that we think are not acceptable, the innermost parts of our hearts and the fears that run so deep within us we cannot.. will not.. speak of them.
What I have found to be true of myself is that I hide when things don't go my way or when things are difficult.
I revert back to my 5 year old self...I throw an adult tantrum, arguing with the Lord, pleading with Him for "my way", kicking and screaming inside my heart and I hide beneath the comfort of my throw blanket...all while laying on my couch.
While I know the Lords wants us to have the heart of children, I highly doubt that was what he meant.
My desire to hide is fear driven. I fear that if people truly knew how I felt, they would reject me. So in an effort to protect myself, I hide. Self-preservation keeps me hiding from people...
I have yet to understand why I choose to hide from the Lord. I keep my disappointments to myself, I hide my frustration, I hide my anger, I hide my dreams, I hide myself.
There is a very old song called "You are my hiding place"...
You are my hiding place
You always fill my heart
With songs of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid
I will trust in You
I will trust in You! I will trust in You!
This song reminds me that HE is my hiding place. So often I forget that He is the one I can run to. He can handle my "truth", He can handle my raw emotions. HE is my comfort, not my blankie. I am not a child, BUT I am HIS princess...HE can still hold me and quiet my tears. He views my adult tantrums as a good thing! It is a side effect of "my will" slowly dying and giving way to HIS!
As I wait, I will choose to HIDE in Jesus!!!!
Today I choose to let "my will" die
Today I choose to be vulnerable
Today I choose to trust in HIM!!
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
Jeremiah 29:11 The Message I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Philippians 4:8-9
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
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