Whats wrong?? Very common, every day words (if you are a woman)..yet they can mean so many different things. When I get asked "whats wrong", my first thoughts are...Do you mean
physically, emotionally or spiritually. Are you referring to work, home or church, and lastly
How much do you really want to hear.
That is what I think of.
My husband is a different story, when he gets asked "whats wrong" he thinks for only
a moment and answers based on that exact first thought in his head. So you can imagine my surprise last night as we are getting ready for bed, that he wanted, no he actually NEEDED to talk with me about what was wrong. My heart jumped with excitment because I actually get a glimpse into his head, and he is willingly letting me in...
so I brace myself for the ride...
Only to find out that he is sad..or in his words "feeling ugly with a capitol U" ahhhhhhhh,
my heart drops at this news. Not only is my big strong man feeling sad, but he needs me to be
there for him and the words are just NOT coming to me.
Usually when I pour out my heart to him, he listens then trys to "fix" it. What I actually NEED for him to do is just listen and absorb.
So I try to listen and absorb, but quickly realize this isn't what he NEEDS. Then I switch to Travis speak and help him "fix" the way he is feeling...ok doin a little better.
My point in sharing this is so simple: I learned that I need to speak to my husband in the language that he understands and needs from me. My needs are NOT his needs.
I am constantly learning about the differences between us, I know many of you are saying "duh" But as basic as this sounds, I need to continually remind my heart to hear him. Not only the words that he is speaking but the meaning behind them.
This particular conversation reminded me that I need to affirm my husband every day.
Affirm him in his appearance, his work, his leadership and his friendship.
TidBit:
The First Five Years
"Men process life in boxes". Men's thinking is divided up into boxes that each have room for one issue and one issue only...
Women process life more like a plate of spaghetti. Women can manage many ideas at once and the often run into one another and intersect, so solving the problem may not be as important as talking about it"
Jeremiah 29:11 The Message I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Philippians 4:8-9
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
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