Pumpkin Time!!

It's pumpkin carvin' time..yeeeeehawwwwwww!
I have been begging Trav to carve pumpkins for 3 years now, but we always run out of time to actually do it...Not this year!! Over the weekend Trav grew so tired of my whining that he took me and some sweet friends to do it right!
By right I mean, to the pumpkin patch we drove...followed by the obligatory pumpkin patch pics...then off to some grub...then finally to the cutting!!!!
Such a perfect day to relax, laugh and get my carvin' on!!!!

Perspective!!!

Due to my previous post...most of my friends and parents were worried about me:)
I am OK! Merely sharing my heart with you.
HOWEVER, having said that, God always shows up! No matter what the situation is, He will show up and show off!
NEVER before have Trav and I talked about the positive side to being MNK..(married, no kids)(yet).
I have always viewed it as such a negative that I haven't even considered there being anything positive about it...UNTIL NOW!!
I decided to make a list of all the positive so that I could reflect back on these words when needed.

Because we don't have children(yet):
We have more time!!! More time means we can serve in a ministry! We currently are serving in the Youth ministry at our church! And from that ministry have come friendships that keep me grounded in the Lord and focused on His will...not mine..

We can focus on our marriage! We joined a marriage group that has opened up so many more doors for us! Thru those relationships we have been able to do Monthly Family Game Nights!
As a direct result of a marriage group, my sweet friend Deneva and I were able to plan, organize and coordinate the Women's Retreat last year, and we are working on next year as we speak! Travis has meet amazing Godly men that have shown him anything from how to install an air conditioner to playing computer games:)
We unofficially became part of the Buffum family! They live 5 minutes from us and have been a HUGE blessing to our marriage and to our backs:)....their jacuzzi works wonders!

We joined the volleyball team!! Nate and Elise invited us! Elise cuts my hair and I always enjoy our times together! She is always honest and seems to always bring a new perspective to things...Nate is Travs go-to guy for prayer.

It's all about perspective!! I choose today to have Gods Perspective and realize how blessed we truly are and rest in the peace that comes with knowing the God is in control!!!
Thank you Lord for blessing the Covey's

Action = Results??....not today

Many of us expect that if we work out, we will feel better and lose inches
If we stop smoking we will be healthier
If we get an oil change on our car, it will run better
We naturally expect that our ACTION = RESULTS.
OR
that if we don't like something, we can easily change it!
If we don't like our clothes.....just change our outfit
If we don't like our hair....just dye it a different color
If we don't like our home....well, just move
You get the idea....

We develop a false sense that we can control or manipulate our circumstances with these "quick fixes". That WE are indeed in the drivers seat of our life. We believe that if we don't like something....just change it or ourselves!! We are a "control" driven society.

BUT, what happens when we realize that much is beyond our control and that we are NOT indeed in the drivers seat?

As many of you know Trav and I have been trying to start our family. This year has been a series of appointments, blood tests, medication, procedures and disappointments. Month after month we follow the "instructions" and month after month we see NO results.
I am NOT in control. I am NOT in the drivers seat.

Today I took another pregnancy test, today I suffered another heartbreak, today I wonder if I will ever be a mom, today I wonder if my husband is disappointed in me, today I sit here broken, today I long to hold a baby, today I fail to see the beauty of just being a wife, today I hope for the day that I may dedicate my child to the Lord, today I sit here confused, angry, bitter and NOT in control....today I sit sharing my heart with my friends.

Normally this is where I end with a pretty bow, and make it all nice nice....
Not today, just not today.......
Today, much is beyond my control
Today, Action does NOT = Results